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In tramvai:
- E cineva fara bilet acolo, in fund?
- Eu, dar mi-l bag imediat! |
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O tinara se adreseaza vinzatoarei de la un magazin de cosmetice:
- As dori ca barbatul meu sa imi acorde mai multa atentie. Aveti cumva un parfum care miroase ca un computer? |
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Haiku Poetry - The Essence of Zen
In Japan, they have replaced the impersonal and unhelpful Microsoft error
messages with Haiku poetry messages. Haiku poetry has strict construction
rules - each poem has only 17 syllables; 5 syllables in the first, 7 in the
second, 5 in the third.
They are used to communicate a timeless message, often achieving a wistful,
yearning and powerful insight through extreme brevity. Here are 16 actual
error messages from Japan. Below, the essence of Zen:
Your file was so big.
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.
The Web site you seek
Cannot be located, but
Countless more exist.
The Tao that is seen
Is not the true Tao until
You bring fresh toner.
Stay the patient course.
Of little worth is your ire.
The network is down.
Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.
A crash reduces
Your expensive computer
To a simple stone.
Program aborting:
Close all that you have worked on.
You ask far too much.
Three things are certain:
Death, taxes and lost data.
Guess which has occurred.
Windows NT crashed.
I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams.
You step in the stream
But the water has moved on.
This page is not here.
Yesterday it worked.
Today it is not working.
Windows is like that.
Out of memory.
We wish to hold the whole sky,
But we never will.
First snow, then silence.
This thousand-dollar screen dies
So beautifully.
Having been crashed
The document you're seeking
Must now be retyped.
Serious error,
All shortcuts have disappeared.
Screen. Mind. Both are blank.
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Un tip se trezeste in ambulanta:
- U… u… unde ma duceti!
- La morga!
- Pai n … nu am… murit!
- Pai… nu am ajuns! |
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Fedex vs UPS |
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- Suferiţi cumva de vise erotice? întreabă doctorul un pacient.
- Nu sufăr, domnule doctor. Chiar îmi fac plăcere! |
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Un sergent in permisie merge la o prostituata si o intreaba:
- Domnisoara, acceptati compania mea pentru 200.000 de lei?:
- Da! - zice ea. Sergentul se intoarce si striga:
- Companieeee, inaintee mars! |
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- Tata, imi cumperi, te rog, un mobil hightech 3G cu USB, bluetooth cu camera video, GPRS si cu aplicatii java si mp3?
- Fiule, nu te-ai putea droga si tu ca si ceilalti copii? |
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Doi tineri stateau pe o banca. Dupa o ora de liniste, baiatul se decide sa rupa tacerea :
- Nu vrei sa mergem la mine in apartament?
- Nu aveam de gand, insa m-ai convins !!! |
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- Chelner!
- Da, domnule?
- Poti sa-mi mai prajesti putin puiul? Imi mananca toata salata! |
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