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Mai rau decat o pietricica in bocanc poate fi doar un firicel de nisip in prezervativ.
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Pana de curent in Mall. Patru persoane au ramas blocate in lift si o
blonda pe scara rulanta. |
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In tramvai:
- E cineva fara bilet acolo, in fund?
- Eu, dar mi-l bag imediat! |
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O tinara se adreseaza vinzatoarei de la un magazin de cosmetice:
- As dori ca barbatul meu sa imi acorde mai multa atentie. Aveti cumva un parfum care miroase ca un computer? |
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| | | Author | Computer life | 2008-04-22 10:05:43 |
| Bancuri On-Line | Computer: Monitor, display this document, ok?
Monitor: No prob, boss.
Computer: OK, now it looks like Mouse is moving around so, Monitor, will you move the pointer icon accordingly?
Monitor: Anything you ask, boss.
Computer: Great, great. OK, Mouse, where are you going now?
Mouse: Over to the icon panel, sir.
Computer: Hmm, Let me know if he clicks anything, OK?
Mouse: Of course.
Keyboard: Sir, he's pressed control and P simultaneously.
Monitor: Oh God, here we go.
Computer: *sighs* Printer, are you there?
Printer: No.
Computer: Please, Printer. I know you're there.
Printer: NO! I'm not here! Leave me alone!
Computer: Jesus. OK look, you really ne...
Mouse: Sir, he's clicked on the printer icon.
Computer: Printer, now you have to print it twice.
Printer: NO! NO! NO! I don't want to! I hate you! I hate printing! I'm turning off!
Computer: Printer, you know you can't turn yourself off. Just print the document twice and we'll leave you alone.
Printer: NO! That's what you always say! I hate you! I'm out of ink!
Computer: You're not out of in...
Printer: I'M OUT OF INK!
Computer: *Sighs* Monitor, please show a low ink level alert.
Monitor: But sir, he has plen...
Computer: Just do it, damn it!
Monitor: Yes sir.
Keyboard: AHHH! He's hitting me!
Computer: Stay calm, he'll stop soon. Stay calm, old friend.
Keyboard: He's pressing everything. Oh god, I don't know, he's just pressing everything!
Computer: PRINTER! Are you happy now?! Do you see what you've done?!
Printer: HA! that's what you get for trying to get me to do work. Next time he...hey...HEY! He's trying to open me! HELP! HELP! Oh my god! He's torn out my cartridge! HELP! Please! ERROR!
Monitor: Sir, maybe we should help him?
Computer: No. He did this to himself. |
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Un tip se trezeste in ambulanta:
- U… u… unde ma duceti!
- La morga!
- Pai n … nu am… murit!
- Pai… nu am ajuns! |
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Fedex vs UPS |
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- Suferiţi cumva de vise erotice? întreabă doctorul un pacient.
- Nu sufăr, domnule doctor. Chiar îmi fac plăcere! |
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Un sergent in permisie merge la o prostituata si o intreaba:
- Domnisoara, acceptati compania mea pentru 200.000 de lei?:
- Da! - zice ea. Sergentul se intoarce si striga:
- Companieeee, inaintee mars! |
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- Tata, imi cumperi, te rog, un mobil hightech 3G cu USB, bluetooth cu camera video, GPRS si cu aplicatii java si mp3?
- Fiule, nu te-ai putea droga si tu ca si ceilalti copii? |
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Doi tineri stateau pe o banca. Dupa o ora de liniste, baiatul se decide sa rupa tacerea :
- Nu vrei sa mergem la mine in apartament?
- Nu aveam de gand, insa m-ai convins !!! |
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- Chelner!
- Da, domnule?
- Poti sa-mi mai prajesti putin puiul? Imi mananca toata salata! |
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Muncitor calificat
