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Mai rau decat o pietricica in bocanc poate fi doar un firicel de nisip in prezervativ.
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Pana de curent in Mall. Patru persoane au ramas blocate in lift si o
blonda pe scara rulanta. |
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O tinara se adreseaza vinzatoarei de la un magazin de cosmetice:
- As dori ca barbatul meu sa imi acorde mai multa atentie. Aveti cumva un parfum care miroase ca un computer? |
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| | | Author | Dog diary | 2010-02-03 12:51:05
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| Bancuri On-Line | Excerpts from a Dog's Diary:
8:00 a.m. - Food time! My favorite thing!
9:30 a.m. - Car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 a.m. - Walk in park! My favorite thing!
10:30 a.m. - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 p.m. - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 p.m. - Played in yard! My favorite thing!
5:00 p.m. - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 p.m. - Played ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 p.m. - Watched TV with family! My favorite thing!
11:00 p.m. - Sleeping on bed! My favorite thing!
Excerpts from a Cat's Diary
Day 983 of my captivity.
My captors continue to haunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash
or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for their actions
perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my
strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to
disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped it's headless body at their feet.
I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly
demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending
comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in
solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear
the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to
the power of "allergies". I must learn what this means, and how to use it to
my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this
again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.
The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to
be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.
The bird has to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the captors
regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have
arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe....
for now... :) |
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Un tip se trezeste in ambulanta:
- U… u… unde ma duceti!
- La morga!
- Pai n … nu am… murit!
- Pai… nu am ajuns! |
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- Suferiţi cumva de vise erotice? întreabă doctorul un pacient.
- Nu sufăr, domnule doctor. Chiar îmi fac plăcere! |
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Un sergent in permisie merge la o prostituata si o intreaba:
- Domnisoara, acceptati compania mea pentru 200.000 de lei?:
- Da! - zice ea. Sergentul se intoarce si striga:
- Companieeee, inaintee mars! |
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Doi tineri stateau pe o banca. Dupa o ora de liniste, baiatul se decide sa rupa tacerea :
- Nu vrei sa mergem la mine in apartament?
- Nu aveam de gand, insa m-ai convins !!! |
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- Chelner!
- Da, domnule?
- Poti sa-mi mai prajesti putin puiul? Imi mananca toata salata! |
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Last added files |  | ATT00035.jpg | | ATT00032.jpg | | ATT00029.jpg | | ATT00029.jpg | | ATT00026.jpg | | ATT00023.jpg | | ATT00020.jpg | | ATT00017.jpg | | ATT00014.jpg | [File directory index] |
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General Cosgrove
